Back At It.

Captain Nadec strikes again, this time in the form of shelf-stabilized, spreadable cheese triangles.

The Woman I will Marry.

Discussing wedding vows via Skype:

Her: Have you thought at all about what you'd like to say.

Me: Well, I definitely want to talk like a robot.

Her: Uh-huh.

Me: And then I thought I'd read a bit from the Quran.

Her: Okay, well why don't you just read from the Quran like a robot.

Me: (Scandalized) That's disrespectful! There were no robots at the time of the Prophet.

Her: Really, how do you know?

Me: Whoa, you're right. I don't know. I think you've just opened a whole new field of Islamo-Robotic theology.

Her: Islamabots!

Me: Yeah, Islamabots. I would so watch that if it was a cartoon show. (Singing) Islamabots! Saving the universe!

What we talk about when we talk about pirates.

Sitting in Maui-Wowi, a Hawaiian themed (men's only) smoothie shop in downtown Riyadh:

"Wait, I always get scurvy mixed up with rickets. Which one is rickets?"

"Rickets is the one that poor kids who work in coal mines get because they don't spend enough time in the sun. Scurvy is the one that pirates get because they only drink grog and not enough citrus."

"Right. So, then what's shingles?"

The waiter eavesdropping nearby our table turned away, bored, and went back to watching the Women's Field Hockey game on TV.

"Shingles is like chicken-pox, but way worse. Hey did you know that when you say you're groggy in the morning it comes from pirates being hung-over from drinking too much grog the night before."

Healthy Heroes.

Yes! Flavored UHT milk action heroes are on the case, ready to ride motorcycles and punch the air and, uh, wear multiple bandanas. Drinking delicious, flavored shelf-stabilized milk has no been so much fun.

It Would be Pleasant.

I'm not suggesting that I want to be an imperialist or that colonialism was a good thing, just that British government reports were more fun to read than modern US government reports.

(1957) The Yemenis began to use artillery and heavy machine-guns to fire across the Protectorate border at British troops and local tribesmen.  British forces were obliged to silence these weapons by shell-fire and rocket attacks.  In spite of Yemeni provocation British measures remained purely defensive and no aggressive action was taken.  The Yemenis had no such scruples.

 

-          Sir Bernard Reilly - Chief Commissioner and Governor of Aden Protectorate 1931-1940, Colonial Office 1947 - 1960

They were obliged to silence these weapons.  The Yemenis had no such scruples.  I would love to write phrases like that.

A Quandry.

Uh, wait. I can't remember. Do I cut the red wire and then the green wire, or is it green then red?

Advice.

High of 115 today, but I was possessed with a strong desire to go for a run. So I consulted with one of the few other people here who are crazy tough enough to run around in the sun.

Um, he's the white guy. Anyway, he suggested wearing a hat, regularly dousing my head with water and basically dealing with it. I took his advice and had an excellent run today. Now I am no longer confined to the swimming pool for the rest of the summer.  Great success.

Very Pleased.

Today's creepy 1984 inspired government entity is: The Ideological Security Directorate. It doesn't quite qualify as double-speak, but George Orwell would be pleased.

Books, Covers, Judging.

This DVD was not at all what I thought it would be about.

Note Quite Right.

The Saudi Masterbaker Co.  Nope, that just doesn't sound right.

It's a Dry Heat.

I ran track and cross-country through high school and have many fond memories of long afternoon runs along the American Rive bike trail.  We trained through early June and there were definitely days where we ran six to seven miles in the mid-afternoon heat that hovered around 95 degrees.

With that in mind I figured I could run in the desert too.  After all, a dust storm yesterday brought the daily high down to only 109, that's much better than 119.  So, with heavy dust still lingering in the air I made my way outside for a short run today.  Not really my best idea.

Thirty minutes later and I made it back home in one piece.  I want to say that the dryness was actually harder than the heat, but then when I got inside my house I sprawled out on the carpet for about 20 minutes and was unable to get up without feeling very dizzy.

I guess this means it's back to the pool for me.

The Forecast.

You'll no doubt notice that the daily low is 91 degrees. Yeah, and it's only mid-June. Just wait until we actually get into the hot part of the year.

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia current conditions: Sunny, extremely hot.

Fri
Mostly Sunny
116°F | 91°F

Sat
Clear
116°F | 91°F

Sun
Clear
116°F | 91°F

Mon
Clear
114°F | 91°F

Cup Fever.

Mall competitors in a local cell-phone sponsored videogame World Cup tournament. The Grand Prize: the winner gets beaten up by the cool kids who hang out at the food court.

For Two.

The Italian Embassy is advertising a bright red tandem bicycle for sale. It’s 115 degrees outside today and the bicycle built-for-two is going for $650. For some reason, I find it hard to imagine anyone is going to be particularly interested in bidding on this item. Although, the idea of two people happily pedaling around the dusty, sweltering streets of Riyadh is quite amusing.

Everyone Has It.

Everyone has World Cup fever. Count me among the many.