Mild Hiatus.

I'm going to be traveling a bit for fun and for work in the next week or two. I won't be posting during that time but will resume next month. In the meantime, here are a few pictures of things that caught my eye while in New York a few weeks ago.

I thought this was the funniest thing ever. My sister thought I was stupid.


Stencils are fun, even when people totally steal Banksy's aesthetic.


I think one of the heads is actually covered in uncooked beans.


They really do have excellent dumplings.


"You can just return your handgun when you're finished. Yeah, just slide it in through the slot and we'll check your name off the list."

NYPD.

Hey!
Hey you!
Yeah you, the lady in the cross walk while the light is red.
Can't you seen the sign that says 'Don't Walk'?
Then why are you walking?
I don't care what kind of a hurry you're in, when the sign says 'Don't Walk' that means don't fucking walk.
Do you want me to arrest your ass?
Good, cause I don't feel like filling out the paperwork.

The Right Color for Summer.

If you look at the name of the store in the window behind the mailboxes you can see that it is in fact a Benjamin Moore Paint Store.

Oh New York, even your petty vandalism is stylish.

I Salute your Disregard.

While visiting New York City over the weekend I stayed a night at my friend’s place in the East Village. (And when I say I stayed there, what I really mean is that we played Rock Band, then I passed out on the couch, and then we played more Rock Band in the morning.)
It’s a great apartment in a really fun part of town, but every time I stay over I marvel at his refrigerator. I mean, I don’t really like to cook either, but his fridge is amazing. He and a roommate have managed to fill their fridge with nothing but wine and some leftover take-out.
When I mentioned the contents of his fridge to him, I got this response, “Oh, the wine is my roommate’s.”

By the Pound.

I ate at a barbecue place in Brooklyn over the weekend with my sister and two friends. Between the four of us we ate four pounds of meat and drank a gallon of beer. I know this because the beer came in a one gallon jug and the meat was weighed out on a scale before it was placed on our huge metal trays. Fuck the metric system!
We got a table outside next to two guys who had been drinking whiskey with their beers for quite a while. They had a mysterious clear glass bottle with an eyedropper. They would periodically squirt a few drops of the clear liquid into their whiskey.
Naturally I was eavesdropping on their conversation and I must say they were dealing with some pretty heavy stuff. I heard this gem from the less hip of the two (and mind you we were in Williamsburg, so it’s all relative) “I just can’t seem to get my hands around this monkey, you know?”
It must have been a big monkey.

Living the Dream.

My cousin was explaining to me the intricacies of running a commercial cleaning business in New York City, "What kind of people work as janitors? I know who my employees are, I have no pretenses. A few of my guys work hard and give me no trouble, but the rest are nothing but a headache. On any given night one out of four simply doesn't show up. Every other month I have to deal with the police because something disappears from a job site.
And when it comes time to hand out paychecks, you should hear the complaints. It's not my fault taxes get taken out! $10 an hour isn't really $10 an hour after taxes; I know this but what am I suppose to do?"