Sunday, March 15, 2009

The City of Charles Town

It seemed like everyone was working or out of town this weekend, so Jess and I decided to head on out to Wild and Wonderful West Virginia and check out Charles Town; Races and Slots. This was going to be something of a drive, so we made sure to stock up on a variety of wholesome snacks from the nearby Sheetz.

Before we got down to business with the slot machines, we made a short stop at a flea market held in a giant metal shed off the side of the freeway. Jess was very good about resisting purchasing any glass owls or punchbowl sets, but my self-restraint was really tested when we walked by the booth selling ninja throwing stars. Appropriately named "The Viper Pit" this booth sold crossbows and swords and pellet guns. An overweight 14 year old kid wandered through begging his father to buy him a ninja sword but was rebuffed when his dad reminded him that "you already have so many swords at home." I empathized with the kid as I too left the Viper Pit empty handed.

A short while later and we were in the great City of Charles Town and parking at the racetrack. While I've been to the horse races before and I know my way around a casino, I must say that I learned quite a few things in my afternoon at Charles Town Races and Slots. In short:

Betting on a horse named "Geriatric" is really not the best idea.

Just lit a cigarette but suddenly have to go to the bathroom? No problem, there are ashtrays built into the side of the urinals so you can multi-task!

You have a much better chance of winning $63 on the nickel slots if you play the slot machine called Dam Building Beavers.

Steer clear of the Unicorns and the Norse Warrior machines. They only want to take your hard earned nickels away.

Unlimited free refills of Cherry Coke are awesome.

Jockeys are adorable. (But I'm pretty sure I already new the last two.)


Pata Fria said...

Don't you mean "Charles Town: Racists and Sluts?" Good post, made me laugh out loud multiple times :)

Adam said...

I actually did mean that, but I'm glad that you were the one to say it.

Geoff S. said...

Upon see that picture I could feel my dinner coming back on me, but I spotted the Cadbury Egg and I was able to keep it down.